Today is Probably the Day

Today I find out whether my movie gets made or not. Thumbs up or down. Onward to casting, hiring, shooting, the whole awesome rush. Or back to working on current projects and building up future ones. Not life and death, but--it's been a pretty damn tense week, waiting to hear. To understand this you have to know what making a movie is like. You go into a golden bubble where suddenly you are a little god making manifest in the physical world a universe that was previously in your head--hundreds of extremely talented people running around trying to get it just the way want it. Sometimes on sets watching actors saying my lines I have floated up from the ground, weightless, at the joy of it. Sometimes on sets the actors are screwing up, the light is fading, the scene isn't playing the way I wanted it to, various producers and assistant directors are telling me that if I don't get this shot right now I most certainly won't ever get to the next scene, it seems that my entire career is resting on whether or not camera and actors accurately arrive together at their appointed meeting place, in short--hell. But it's still an awesome high. So: for the last week we've been hearing that the buzz is good, we're in the running, and--the decision either way will come down today. I've been in this long enough to know that I'll be okay either way, that I've had it go both ways, and that there's lots of work to get back to.

But I want them to say yes.