Other Hands, Other Paths
La International Star is doing a guest run on a high-end dramatic series right now. I saw an episode tonight. She was STUNNING. A fantastic performance, controlled, nuanced, deep. So now I can't lay all the blame on her for the fact that she wasn't entirely any of those things in my movie. Because in other hands she shone. I'm in a quandary over this. Was it the nature of the role? The inherently melodramatic nature of the character she played in my movie? Or did I somehow simply not find the key?
Plus. Plus. During the episode the network ran mini-promos for the high-end series I turned down a co-executive producer gig on in order to direct the movie. The movie's winding down, that show's gearing up... I'm not really regretting the choice. Just realizing that we never know which life path a decision will lead us down, and seeing those promos was a view through the veils of fate at a might-have-been alternate destiny. Was that the way to early retirement, a full time gardener, a little apartment in Paris? Or was it the way to an unhappy season on a so-so show?
What DO I want from my future? Screw the full time gardener. Yeah, I'd like an apartment in Paris. But a hotel room there every five years will do fine. (More time than that between visits to Paris and I start to get the DT's.) (I know how obnoxious that sounded but guess what, I'm not deleting it.) So what DO I want? I don't need a bigger house than the nice, not-very-big, comfy homey one I live in. (I bought it twenty years ago so my mortgage is lower than the rent on a one bedroom apartment.) I'm dumping my fancy car this week for something smaller, more sensible and with better mileage and I will never go back to fancy. I live in blue jeans and shirts bought on sale at the Gap and probably always will. My union pension, just as it stands, will enable my wife and me to live at the level we live at now if we're reasonably careful. So, given all of that, what does it matter how well I direct international stars or whether I choose to produce a big-deal series or go off to direct a mid-deal movie? Really?
What right do I have, ever, to complain about anything?
Plus. Plus. During the episode the network ran mini-promos for the high-end series I turned down a co-executive producer gig on in order to direct the movie. The movie's winding down, that show's gearing up... I'm not really regretting the choice. Just realizing that we never know which life path a decision will lead us down, and seeing those promos was a view through the veils of fate at a might-have-been alternate destiny. Was that the way to early retirement, a full time gardener, a little apartment in Paris? Or was it the way to an unhappy season on a so-so show?
What DO I want from my future? Screw the full time gardener. Yeah, I'd like an apartment in Paris. But a hotel room there every five years will do fine. (More time than that between visits to Paris and I start to get the DT's.) (I know how obnoxious that sounded but guess what, I'm not deleting it.) So what DO I want? I don't need a bigger house than the nice, not-very-big, comfy homey one I live in. (I bought it twenty years ago so my mortgage is lower than the rent on a one bedroom apartment.) I'm dumping my fancy car this week for something smaller, more sensible and with better mileage and I will never go back to fancy. I live in blue jeans and shirts bought on sale at the Gap and probably always will. My union pension, just as it stands, will enable my wife and me to live at the level we live at now if we're reasonably careful. So, given all of that, what does it matter how well I direct international stars or whether I choose to produce a big-deal series or go off to direct a mid-deal movie? Really?
What right do I have, ever, to complain about anything?
posted by Tom at 11:19 PM
5 Comments:
Well said, Tom. And I couldn't agree more. It's all about being happy with yourself and what you do, and not about having the biggest house or the fastest car.
With regard to Le Starlet: Remember that she is someone else's vision right now. It doesn't mean you did a bad job directing her, it just means her craft is in the hands of someone with different ideas.
She shined???
Dear Tom do you not mean she shone?
Anonymous--ade the correction. I'm so embarrassed I don't know if I can walk out the door of my house this morning. And I'm not entirely joking.
[sic]--Thanks for the generous benefit of the doubt.
Ahhhhhhh Tom, the right to complain is God given! Just because we fuss doesn't mean we don't appreciate what we have. I believe there very few if any people in this world who truly know what they want. Most THINK they want and some are even happy if they are fortunate enough to get....an extremely low percentage. The rest of us are seekers, always wondering what would have happened if we had taken the other road.
Tom,
It's good to see this post. Honestly at times I think you suffer from "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" syndrome. (But, don't we all!)
I've got a friend that regularly reminds himself how good life really is by writing out a JOY LIST. I need to do it more often, myself.
Post a Comment
<< Home