Let It Stand
After I got Troll's comment on my last post I re-read the post and just about keeled over from the fumes of high-octane self pity. It's not just that two weeks after finishing a movie that everybody loves is just a leeeeeeeeeetle bit early for all the melodrama about un-ringing phones. It's that self-pity is a waste of time, energy and all of God's other gifts, no matter when. It's that the real problem is all the scared lazy procrastinating I am doing on all the new projects and ideas I should be working on. I almost deleted the post. But then I thought: let it stand as a reminder to myself of where not to go.
posted by Tom at 8:52 AM
8 Comments:
And to think that similar reasons have nearly caused me to walk away from screenwriting to pursue a career elsewhere, makes me pity myself that much more. (((SIGH)))
Excellent comment from a very astute man, food for thought for us all, thanks Troll and Tom for sharing.
Tom:
thank you for not doing the TROLL thing of over-reacting, deleting your post, and otherwise making a mess of things. Leave that post alone; you can always come back to it as a milestone on your new road.
I tend to reach a point in every undertaking where I am absolutely convinced that I am a complete fraud, will soon publicly exposed as one, and will never be able to do the job.
That certainly applied in the "business," but it seems to be part of me, as the recurring panic has followed me into the Slow Lane.
You just have to remember that you've been there before, and keep taking one step after another. Eventually, you get to a different place.
I don't agree with the "self pity" bullshit theory. If analyzing yourself, and the actions you've made and/or making, is "self pity", then I suppose it may exist. But I doubt it.
Everyone has times like theses when they second guess and have doubts. It sounds like now you're essentially guilting yourself for thinking you're feeling sorry for yourself.
And hell, if anyone wants to have a "Poor Me!!" moment, I honestly think you're entitled to them.
Life really is a series of moments. To not ponder the next one or look back on the last one, is a ridiculous idea in my opinion.
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I'd love to be on that beach right now.
Anna and Troll--thanks for all the encouragment. Here's to THE PRESENT MOMENT!
Paul--Fly to San Jose, Costa Rica. Easy connections through Miami. Transfer to Sansa airlines for the flight to Drake Bay. From the Drake Bay airport--a grass landing strip and an open grass hut--take a local taxi to the beachside town of Agujitas. There are several small backpacker lodges fringing the bay or you can stay at any one of a number of eco-lodges lining the coast south of town--reachable only by foot or boat, as there are no roads past Agujitas. Any one of these lodges can fix you up with a boat ride to Cano Island, where the beach in the picture is. If you sweet-talk the rangers at the little wooden house visible in the picture they will let you sleep overnight on the beach; apart from that, there is no structure of any kind on this impossibly beautiful jungled island. The whole area is relatively cheap and phenomenally unspoiled.If you make the right arrangements and leave for the airport this second you could be there the day after tomorrow.
I can tell -- easily -- that you're a man who takes traveling seriously.
The trip is as important as the destination.
.
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